There’s Nothing Unlucky About 13!

I wrote this post on the 31st of August and saved it as a surprise for my wife!

It’s our 13th Marriage Anniversary today. With each passing year, the bond between me and my better half only strengthens. Here are 13 lessons I’ve learned from our marriage.

  1. A marriage is a work in progress. It isn’t a 50% effort from each partner. Sometimes you offer your 100% and while at other times your spouse offers 100%.
  2. There are three things you love in your marriage: Your spouse. Your children. Your marriage.
  3. Marriage isn’t a competition where one of them needs to get ahead of the other. It is a journey that two people embark on together for the rest of their lives.
  4. Like every other relationship, both partners may have opinions on which they disagree. The best way to resolve this is only by communicating openly with each other. Be open, and be honest.
  5. Love your partner the way they want to be loved, not the way you want to be loved. Everyone is different.
  6. On many occasions throughout the day, partners may make small observations about certain things. My wife loves watching and commenting on old pictures of our travels. When something like this comes up, I connect with that thought and engage with her. Don’t miss these chances.
  7. Being petty is useless. In an argument with your spouse, you might want to retort with that sharp rebuttal that’s at the tip of your tongue. Hold it, bite your tongue and swallow it. It won’t do your relationship any good. Let it go.
  8. The really grand gestures aren’t the big ones. The small ones, they’re truly grand. Here’s an example – getting a workout set up ready for my wife makes her happy. What does that entail? Setting up a yoga mat, a bottle of water & her workout shoes. Or an appreciate post-it!
  9. Treat your spouse as your best friend. Deep and long-lasting relationships are easy between friends. My wife and I were friends before marriage and we continue to be so after marriage.
  10. Challenge each other to be better. Since the shutdown, we’re stuck at home with almost no outdoor workouts. We started challenging each other by working out regularly in the evenings for an hour every day. We’re now fitter than we were before the lockdowns. Acknowledge and push each other.
  11. Love in a marriage is a skill. You need to keep working on it. Like a pencil that needs constant sharpening, love in marriage also needs constant work.
  12. A happy marriage is one in which you are happy, not the one in which you are right.
  13. Do not ever go to sleep after having an argument and without making up. You will have the worst regret of your life if you go to bed fighting and your partner doesn’t wake up in the morning. Nothing is above your marriage, above your love.

Cover Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

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